FOMO: The Fear of Missing Out

Being social is part of being human. Some people thrive on constant connection, while others are happiest with a handful of close interactions—but nearly all of us need some degree of community to feel fulfilled.

Alongside this need to connect is another deeply human habit: comparison. For centuries, we’ve measured ourselves against neighbors, friends, and peers. But with the rise of social media, those comparisons have multiplied.

Now, instead of looking at the lives of people you actually know, you’re exposed to carefully curated glimpses of acquaintances—or even strangers. These comparisons can be not just unfair, but completely mismatched. Apples to oranges.

If you’ve ever found yourself scrolling through photos of beach vacations while you’re shoveling snow, you’ve felt it: FOMO. The fear of missing out.

FOMO; “What am I missing?”

The Social Media Illusion

The problem is that social media isn’t reality. It’s a highlight reel—showing only the most flattering angle, the most filtered photo, the most enviable sliver of someone’s life. Even those “candid” moments might be staged for the camera. After all, it’s far easier to look like you’re having fun than to actually be having fun.

Think about it: how does anyone manage to have perfect hair at the beach? Where are the awkward angles, the messy moments, the times when things didn’t go as planned? They exist—but you’re not seeing them.

Even “candid” moments might be staged for the camera

A Pause for Reflection

When FOMO creeps in, it can help to pause and ask yourself:

• Do I really want to see five different groups of people in one weekend?

• Would frequent trips actually bring me joy, or would they disrupt the routines and hobbies I love?

• Am I okay staying up late every Saturday, or do I value rest more?

• What would constant dining out mean for my health and finances?

• Do my happiest memories involve picture-perfect settings—or just genuine laughter and connection?

• When I think of people I know well, do they have perfect lives? Or are they, like me, human—with ups and downs?

  
  

  

  Do my happiest memories involve picture-perfect settings—or just genuine laughter and connection?

Redefining What Matters

The truth is, you don’t have to chase someone else’s version of happiness. Your joy doesn’t need to be Instagram-worthy to be real. Often, the moments that mean the most are the ones that don’t make it online at all.

FOMO loses its grip when you shift from asking, “What am I missing?” to “What truly matters to me?”

Live true to your authentic self.

Dr. Sayanti Bhattacharya MD, MS

Verve Psychiatry