Why Some People Struggle Deeply with Criticism

For most people, criticism or feedback stings a little. Being told they need to improve at work, adjust their behavior in a relationship, or rethink a decision can feel uncomfortable—but they usually recover and move forward. For some people, however, criticism cuts much deeper. Even gentle or constructive feedback can feel crushing, leaving them discouraged, defensive, or unable to bounce back.

So why do some people struggle so much with criticism? The answer is often a combination of temperament, early experiences, and the ways they learn to see ourselves.

Temperament

Some people are naturally more emotionally sensitive than others. Even in early childhood, they may react more strongly to tone of voice, facial expressions, or subtle signs of disapproval.

This heightened sensitivity is not inherently negative. It often goes hand in hand with empathy, creativity, and conscientiousness. But it can also make criticism harder to tolerate.

Some people are naturally more emotionally sensitive than others

Early Experiences

Early childhood experiences play an important role in how we process feedback. When mistakes are harshly punished, shamed, or met with constant criticism at home or at school, children may learn to associate imperfection with being unworthy or unlovable. Children whose mistakes are corrected with encouragement and support are more likely to grow into adults who see feedback as information, not judgment.

Children may learn to equate imperfection with being unworthy when mistakes are harshly criticized

Perfectionism

People who hold themselves to very high standards are more vulnerable to the sting of criticism. Their internal harsh judgement of their errors gets reinforced by external feedback. Even gentle reminders of a shortcoming can feel devastating. Perfectionists struggle to view feedback as part of the learning process, often seeing it as proof of inadequacy.

The Fear of Rejection and Shame

Criticism can feel like a threat when there is worry about what people will think of you. For some, this worry is magnified, and feedback stirs up deep feelings of shame.

Generalization can follow, shifting the  narrative from “I made a mistake” to “I am a mistake.”

Criticism can trigger feelings of shame

Choose a Different Path Forward

The good news is that sensitivity to criticism doesn’t have to control your life. There are ways to build resilience to criticism and handle criticism in more helpful ways. 

Sensitivity to criticism often comes from a place of caring deeply about your work, your relationships, and all things important to you.

With deliberate effort and practice, you can move from seeing criticism as punitive and start to recognize it as an opportunity for growth.

Live mindfully and keep growing.

Dr. Sayanti Bhattacharya MD, MS

Verve Psychiatry