Repair in Relationships

Sayanti Bhattacharya MD
Jan 11
2 min read

Repair is a key component of all healthy, long term relationships- including romantic, familial, or relationships between friends. Conflict is an unavoidable part of any relationship and leads to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Conflict does not reflect on the strength of a relationship, and neither is it a sign of weakness or incompatibility- just two unique people navigating life together.

What matters most is not avoiding conflict altogether (which is impossible), but how effectively you repair after it happens.

Here’s why repair is so important:

1. Conflict is Inevitable

People have different perspectives, values, and communication styles which means disagreements will happen. What matters most is not whether conflict happens, but how we move through it. Repair acknowledges that conflict is inevitable and provides a path to move forward.

2. Prevents Resentment

When hurt feelings or misunderstandings go unaddressed, over time they fester and build into walls of resentment. Repair makes room for healthy communication and prevents resentment from building up.
When hurt feelings or misunderstandings go unaddressed, over time resentment grows

3. Builds Trust

Repair involves acknowledging hurt, taking responsibility where needed, and making the effort to restore trust and closeness. This lays the foundation for trust and safety. Both people know that even when things go wrong, they’ll work to set them right.

4. Strengthens Connection

Paradoxically, relationships often grow stronger not from the absence of conflict, but from the process of repairing after conflict. Successfully repairing shows resilience and deepens intimacy.

Repair improves communnication

5. Improves Communication

By apologizing, listening, validating the other person’s feelings, instead of being defensive or deflecting sets the stage for authentic communication. These skills improve not just one relationship but ripple into all interactions.

6. Encourages Vulnerability

It takes courage to be vulnerable, accept responsibility and apologize. True intimacy cannot happen in the absence of vulnerability. When both people can be vulnerable in this way, they can have an open and honest relationship.

Repair isn’t always easy, but it is always worth it. By leaning into the practice of repair, we give our relationships the stability and resilience needed to last.

Live mindfully and well,

Dr. Sayanti Bhattacharya MD, MS

Verve Psychiatry